never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
