The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
