Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
