I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize