forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
too bad you live with your parents still
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
