I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
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