Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
