We're facebook friends in real life
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Houston, we have a squirter
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
