im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
