I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
