is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
