He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
