Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
