hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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