I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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