if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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