I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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