how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
