The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
