I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
