Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
