She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
