i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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