I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
