I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
