Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
