it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Are my feet made of real feet?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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