If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
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