Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How external is "for external use only"?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
