i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
