nut hugger
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
