Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
