would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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