i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
