is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize