Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
