He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
