i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
