id be glad to
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
