need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
