What did we do last night that was yellow?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
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