You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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