Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
