wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
