You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
