Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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