i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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