He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
