I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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