I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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