he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
