Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dicks are not precious.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
