Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
