Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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