so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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