i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
