All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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