what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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