I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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