I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
nutella sex= disaster
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
