Christians are straight up FREAKS
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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