I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
