I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize