Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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