this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
