Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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