She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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