And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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