.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think a kid would responsible me up
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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