If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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