I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Someone shattered a urinal.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
