ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
