I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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