oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
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