I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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